Friday, April 25, 2003
Spent the day with Saku. Went for a bike ride, then Peebe came round and we watched The Producers. Oh why oh why did Saku have to introduce me to that. My mind is still singing that bloody song!
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Deutchland is happy and gay!
::sweatdrop:: But I am very very tired... doesn't help period started today... euuuugggghhhhhhh.... And my mind has been rambling since I left Saku's... feels like Aoiko's at it again. Last time I felt like this, she managed to get me crying at Lilo and Stitch! GOD! One little remotely sad trigger and I'll be off. ::grumbles:: But the rest of the 'me's are too weak to fight back so I'll just have to endure.
One last thing before I die. I have just been informed (first time I've ever known my parents to inform me of something beforehand) that my parents are going away next weekend. Well, leaving on Friday and only my mum is coming back late on Monday (my dad is going straight to work in Aberdeen again). Yay! Freedom! But I'll have to take the dog at least 3 walks in one day. Not to mention cooking and cleaning for myself... uh oh... hmmm... this will be interesting, seeing if I can remember how to operate the grill, oven or microwave. :S I wonder if I'll actually manage to keep the house in one piece. Probably not ;)
Now I go to bed before I am too tired to even make it up the ladders. Oyasumi!
Xilmin visited the elves at 11:09 p.m.
Thursday, April 24, 2003
I'm sooo happy! The next episode of Jungle wa Itsumo Hale Nochi Guu Deluxe was finally released! Hale & Clive got drunk, then Hale went back in time 10 years..... ::suddenly realises something:: Isn't Hale supposed to be 11? Then it doesn't make any sense... unless he's younger than that. Oh, I'm confused! :S Anyway, it's great, even if it doesn't make sense... wait, this is Jungle. It never made any sense! ;)
I kinda slept in a little. My dad had to wake me up at 12. ::sweatdrop:: Guess 4 hours of sleep then being hyper for most of the day got to me. ;) Unlike most ppl I know, waking up at midday is actually late. ::sweatdrop::
Now my mum is bugging me. She almost decided to completely ban the computer. She doesn't seem to realise that I haven't spent all that much time on it since I got back. I was at Pan's for most of Tuesday & Wednesday. She also wanted me to go to the collage to get an application form. The logical part of my mind says: "It's just the application form. It doesn't mean that I actually need to go when it starts if I can't manage. And that's still months away anyway". But then another part of my mind screams and flees, shivering and cowering. I really am petrified of going. ::she says as she lazes back in her chair, sipping pineapple juice and eating raisons:: Somehow it probably doesn't seem it on the outside... but I think I'm finally getting the hang of figuring out what thoughts are in my mind (when there are some). Certainly when it comes to fear anyway. I'm getting that a lot lately, in one form or another. :S Sucks being a coward!
I've also got my maths exam next month! Don't know what the exact date is. I'm so used to thinking: 'it's months away. don't need to think too much about it. just keep working every so often'. Then all of a sudden it's almost on me and I feel so unprepared. And, just like with the prelim, I can tell Xi's feeling really cocky about it and is going to prevent me from doing anything except what I absolutely have to for the tutor. Got to try and beat her this time... I'll try. I'll fail, but I'm sure as hell gonna give it a shot! ::determined look::
Anyway, I'm off to watch some anime before bed. Really gotta watch all this stuff I've downloaded but haven't touched! Running out of space and fast! :S Ja ne!
Xilmin visited the elves at 09:35 p.m.
Wednesday, April 23, 2003
::tears start to swell up then laughter banishes the tears for a little while before I just plain give up and end up snorting instead... whacks head off bed post:: I'm hyper, and it's all Pan's fault! ...actually it's all my fault for bringing the topic of a secret up, but that could hardly be helped since it's the depressed me that gets so worked up about it (well, overly worked up that ppl actually notice). Right it's Aoiko's fault! ::inside the head, Xi, Yiefi, Akuma, Fujin, Calenmaia, and many other 'me's that I can't remember attack Aoiko from all sides. Aoiko, with tears in her eyes, uses her dark elf skills to perfection and defends herself. Xi & Yiefi don't last long (why ain't that surprising? :S ). Calenmaia falls soon afterwards cos she ain't good in close combat. Fujin fights on, but fails to match up the disturbing and frantic fighting style. Since the other 'me's aren't prominent enough in my mind yet, they can not stand long in a fight. So Akuma and Aoiko fight on alone into the distance, each trying to get through the other's determination. Like 'me's always do, the rest of them spring to life again (can't kill a 'me' unfortunately! :( ). Xi growls at the shrinking figures. Yiefi yells "That was rude, yah know!" Then the both of them chase after the fighting two to cheer Akuma on. The others shrug and leave Akuma to it. Akuma = Devil. She's good at this sort of stuff...::
Where did all that come from!?! Gah! These contradicting 'me's are impossible. I tend to think of myself as everything and everything's opposite, yet never comprimising anywhere. That tends to lead to one hell of a confusing outer image. :S And when I'm hyper, it's just plain impossible! Damn you, Pan-chan. Just give me a few months, I'll get there. Just be thankful that you even know there is something weird going on inside my mind now... well, obviously there's something weird, but something that actually gets to me... well... 'me's... ::sweatdrop:: Anyway, it's been there for a while... actually I think I made vague mentions to it here every so often. ::looks through some of her old blog entries (can't actually read 'em. Too much writing, not enough concentration):: Bingo! Found it! ::laughs:: I speak such garbage. 5th January 2003... vague mention on the 8th... then more on the 15th... ::notices something else:: WHAT?!? Since when did I have the idea for a Lord of the Rings/Gravitation crossover?!? Oh well... interesting idea, although I don't remember it... ::goes back to looking for mentions of 'the secret':: 19th. Very depressing. ::sweatdrop:: Aoiko was at it again! :S ::reads some more and laughs:: Ah yes, that time I had a fist fight with a cupboard door. :S ::browses through some more entries:: 28th February. ::laughs:: That disturbing guy that played the cello. Various other ideas that cropped into my head. And then me chasing a sweatdrop. Ah, memories. Anyway, I'm going to stop looking through the entries now since I don't think I mentioned the secret in any big detail other than 'something I can't mention'. And since no one 'cept me & Pan-chan know what the hell all this is about a secret, I'd better put a little background in... Expect much rambling. I'm in a hyper mood! :P
Ok, I'll start on Tuesday since I wasn't here to blog for that. My parents were being all stressful and scary. My mum was cleaning every square inch of the room, and my dad was sitting at the computer, barely moving except for his fingers. Saku wanted me over but she's too far away to get to without getting a lift, and there was no way I was going to try and talk my parents into that. But then I realised I didn't want to hang about the house with that sort of atmosphere around, so I fled to Pan-chan's, the only place I can reach without dying. She was still asleep, at 4 pm. ::sweatdrop:: Really need to make an alarm clock robot thing that follows her around and attacks her if she tries to fall asleep during the day. That would get her into a decent ruitine. >) If only I had more energy and my parents didn't expect me to come home, then I'd do it myself. ::laughs:: Pan-chan's lucky I'm ill, or she'd have me as her stalker. >D ::sweatdrop:: I can say this sort of stuff but I can't say... ah forget it. Continuing...
Haven't a clue where the time when between 4 & 7, but about that time we had dinner and I got to try and eat rice with chopsticks again. I'm learning! :) Then there is some more missing time in my memory... no no wait, I remember. We watched Lilo & Stitch. There were some kids around, and I was scared, and they kept bugging us, but it's Lilo & Stitch so it kept it bareable, just. ;) Then 10ish came, and we went for a walk to the river and met up with Li-chan. It was fun. I got a stick. I attacked a tree for the stick. Damn, that tree was bendable. I could nearly wrap the stick all the way round the trunk and it still wouldn't break. So I wound it the other way. Then it broke, and I ended up on my ass on the ground. ::laughs:: Pan-chan was dying of laughter by this time. I was just confused why I hadn't been stung by nettles, then happy I got my stick. Li-chan came up at this point. She no doubt wanted to just turn back round, but she came anyway. ;) Then we just hung about the bridge, and I chased any human that went by with my stick. Ah, scarying humans is fun! >D I hadn't been out at that time of night in ages and ages so I was enjoying myself. :)
Eventually we got back and... stuff happened... memory has gone again... I know Li-chan was wandering around on the net for a while, searched for ostriches, got married, you know, that kind of thing ::sweatdrop:: I just sat with Pan while she searched for 80s music on TV.
Li-chan left at 7ish to get the bus to meet her mum about... something. Then me & Pan finally got to sleep. But even getting to sleep at that time, I still woke up at 11. ::groans:: Stupid mind. Don't think I slept any time after that, although Pan stayed dead for another 3 or so hours. ::sweatdrop:: It was after that that... oh wait, I missed something... Pan had gone to the bath, and I drifted off on the sofa with some classic rock station playing. Next thing I know, I'm crying my eyes out. Naturally Pan wanted to know what was wrong... she still don't know. Mwah ha ha! ... no wait, that's bad... is it? ...I don't know! Well she was bugging me to tell her for over an hour. Some of the 'me's wanna. Other 'me's... well... I quote: "If those words come out of your mouth, I'm pulling out your tongue" ::sweatdrop:: In other words, I don't think I can actually speak it, and even writing it will only end up with me getting so far then ripping it into shreds and eating it (just like Jumba from Lilo & Stitch ;) ).
Then I had the wonderful inspiration of 'let's change the subject to something else that will distract Pan'. Hold finger out, open mouth but nothing comes out. ::groans:: For that one, it's probably Nimaia and other embarrassable 'me's that are complaining. It's a question this time. Pan kept bugging me, naturally, so she did manage to get "Do you think I could..." out of me, but that was as far as I could get. :S Then Pan had to go to work (lucky! get's so much money! >( ) and I had to go home, so she couldn't bug me no more. Hee hee... although... NO! Damn 'me's can't agree, particularly on such... ::searches for a word:: ... 'character defining'... ::nearly spews her drink and laughs hysterically:: ... topics. ;)
Anyway, I really need to go! Oh yeah, and I updated Anime Shelter with a new episode of Chobits (not that I'm actually updating the main page cos it's too late for that. Just need to update my post on XSiteClub). Now I leave, it's late, and I've spent way too much time here! Ja!
Xilmin visited the elves at 10:24 p.m.
Monday, April 21, 2003
I RETURNITH! And that's all you're getting from me tonight cos I just typed a bloody 10-page-essay worth thing here and Compy desides that Internet Explorer has performed an illegal operation. GYYYYAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! It seems a week turned off didn't help it's mood. Alright here's a shorter version of what I said:
Went on holiday. there were problems. Some where fixed, others we got money for instead. Enjoyed the drives but couldn't do any of the walks. The weather had a grudge against me (and still does). Overall not the best holiday I've been on. In fact, it rated pretty low cos most, if not all, of the time I just wanted to go home.
Now I'm home, cos loads of stuff to do, outside & inside. Frienenemies and Compy basically. Blah blah blah...
Oh yeah, and the Jungle wa Itsumo Hale Nochi Guu OST RULES! Just downloaded it when I got back. >D
Yup that's pretty much all I said in all the garbage I wrote. And I want bed, so I'm off now (again!). ::kicks Compy and nearly breaks her foot:: Now I shall go relax in bed and wish I had time to make a CD for the Jungle soundtrack. That certainly doesn't let me keep serious. ;)
I shall return tomorrow unless Saku takes me somewhere and kills me... well the 'taking me somewhere' will kill me so... yeah. :S Blah blah blah, rock-a-bye me dinosaur and all that. Ja! :P
Xilmin visited the elves at 10:35 p.m.
Sunday, April 13, 2003
Just saying "sayonara minna". I'm off early early tomorrow morning, and I don't even know exactly where I'm going. I know I'm going to Madeira, but... uh... where is that? ::sweatdrop:: And even my parents don't even know which hotel we are staying at. We just find out when we get there. Why do I get the feeling we are going to be having problems with this... Things rarely go smoothly for us on holidays... certainly not completely as we expect. :S
Anyways, I think I'm coming home next Monday. As usual I have no idea what exactly is going on. ;) Certainly you'll know when I'm back by when I update next. :P That is unless I get an opertunity to get on the net in a internet cafe or something and just randomly post something. :) But my parents are almost as stingy as I am, particularly with that sort of thing, so I doubt that will happen. ::pout::
Oh, and for those members of Anime Shelter mailing list, I'm uploading a little treat for you. Part of Chobits OST I. Just a little something before I leave since I never did have time to do anything else with the site. Was making several hundred music CDs to take with me to make up with not having 100min worth of MP3s to listen to. Can't touch compy when making CDs. It's very weird when it comes to that sort of thing. :S
Well that's pretty much it. I'm just going to waste some time with music and anime until Saku arrives. She's desperate to buy some blank CDs off of me. She's also going to drag me out a walk since she's bringing her dog. That'll be interesting with my box of a mutt. He's never been all that social, particularly with large dogs. :S This'll be FUN >D
I shall return in a week unless some Madeira-en monster has attacked our hotel and fed me to it's Madeira-en monster babies... gomen, but that was the best I could come up with. :S Farewell, hoomans! I go to reek havoc on yet another area of the world with my Elvish allies! Expect to see something on the news! :P Rock-a-bye me dinosaur, goo-bear and whatever other unique 'goodbye' phrases I have. :P
Xilmin visited the elves at 08:03 p.m.
Saturday, April 12, 2003
I'm in no way going to attempt to blog for all the days I've missed. Not a chance! I'm just here to be happy happy happy!
::bounce bounce bounce:: Murow! Murow! Murow! Yay! Okiayu Ryoutarou! Sugoi! Sugoi! Sugoi! Hee hee hee! Me so... ::squeaks (or at least tries to):: ....aaaaahhhhhhhhh....... ::drools:: Dark! Me like Dark! Me like Dark much! I liked him as soon as he showed up but being Okiayu Ryoutarou is so much of a bonus, I can't deal with it! I'm having problems dealing breathing right now, and I haven't stopped grinning yet! ::dances around::
Oh yeah, I'm talking about DN Angel! Finally got around to watching one of the new episodes I've downloaded. Yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay... eh hem... YAY!!! ::claps:: Must get more soon! No fair! Going on holiday next week! What if I miss the next episode! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Can't do that can't do that can't do that. Won't do that! Wouldn't be able to survive if I did. I'm sure I'll find it on Direct Connect somewhere even if I did. Breathe. Breathe. Not going to lose it.... SUGOI!!! murow murow murow murow murow murow murow! I stake claims! He's MINE! but the weird thing is that since it's Okiayu Ryoutarou, it also means he's me... Oh not again! K, Shigure, Koinosuke... Ah, they're all cool! I don't care. they're all me and they're all mine! ::nods:: As long as that's clear! ;) ::dances around again::
I should probably at least make some sort of mention of what the anime is like. Another anime where the characters give warnings to the cops that they are going to steal stuff.... no comment! I'm worried that it's going to get a little mushy. But with a little humour and plenty of action and not to mention murow murow murow murow murow... well, I can't do anything but keep watching! :D
I wanna go watch more anime now, but I'll just say a couple more things:
Since last time I was here, I've done nothing. Being ill kinda prevents you from doing anything. However Thursday night, Pan-chan came over and we watched tons of Hyper Police. Yay! Wasn't alone!
Other than that, I've done some webpage work. Gave up with dead episode host place and moved to somewhere else and uploaded episode 6 of Chobits. Also updated Anime Download Links page. Check Anime Shelter if you want more info on that
Ok, me done now. Ah, mou! Me want more DN Angel, but it's not out yet... I don't think... ::suddenly has inspiration and rushes off:: ... ::comes back pouting:: No it's not. WAAAAAHHHHHH!!! Maybe I'll just watch the bit where he comes into it again to keep me happy. Yup, that's a good plan.
Okiayu Ryoutarou! Okiayu Ryoutarou! Okiayu Ryoutarou! (damn, his name is hard to type quickly!) ::deep breath:: Okiayu Ryoutarou! Okiayu Ryoutarou! Okiayu Ryoutarou! ::dances off::
Xilmin visited the elves at 09:34 p.m.
Wednesday, April 9, 2003
Geeuuuughhh... Still not feeling all that great, although I think it's getting better. Certainly my voice has partually returned to normal (still can't sing though). But I'm so bored! My brother has been hogging the TV all day, and all he watches is the news channel. I need to watch something not involving real ppl right now, but preferably without subtitles since I don't think I can cope with that right now. My head has been killing me most of the day. So in the end I just spent hours making CDs full of anime and played several million games of minesweeper. Well, tried to. Didn't manage to get to the end of any of them. :S
I was supposed to go to the Occupational Therapist today, but I really did not feel up to going anywhere. But having spent all day thinking about stuff, I'm thinking maybe I should have gone anyway. I've known I'm going on holiday to Madeira (that spelt right?) for a while, but I never knew a date. Apparently it's next week. Now every time I think about going, I get a horrible heavy feeling in my stomach, and it just gets worse. It's not like I have much to stay home for. Can't do anything I want. Other than Compy, I do nothing all day. And even that is not exactly appealing right now. Just leave it to download things I hope I'll be interested in at some later point. But to go somewhere else, it's... to be honest... terrifying! To not be able to do anything but look at things, not be able to go anywhere unless it's in a car, not be able to write anything I'm inspired with, not be able to settle back in the evening with a book, to have nothing is not something I'm exactly looking forward to. But I can't explain that to my parents cos "getting away will be good for me". And having only my parents around isn't exactly a great bonus either. There will be no privacy. I doubt I'll even have my own room! I can't abide that! I can't even have conversations with my parents, never mind anything else. Even if they would let me stay home (and having to cook for myself for a whole week is not something I could probably do all that well), it's too late anyway. The tickets are bought and everything. They're not going to waste it. ::grimaces:: I can't stand the idea of it!
If you couldn't tell, I'm not in the greatest of moods right now. Haven't been all day. I can tell sappy 'me's are ready to take any excuse to burst into tears. Even writing all that about going on holiday was pushing it. My instinct is to go back to bed but there's nothing there that is going to make me feel better. My hands keep gripping for something to hold on to, but there is nothing there. I need to get better and quick. I hate this! I need out. I need to escape being tied to my house. But I can't get anywhere cos of bloody lack of energy. If only I could write or read again, then least I could escape to a whole other world without needing the TV or the computer. And it's not the same anyway. A world of pure imagination is somehow more real than something I can see (at least that's how I always felt).
My mum's home. Hopefully I can beg her to give me control of the TV for the evening. I need cheered up, desperately!
Xilmin visited the elves at 05:57 p.m.
Tuesday, April 8, 2003
Just checking in before I feel any worse. I wake up in a relatively good mood, but as the day goes on I feel ickier and ickier until I'm just a heap on the sofa with a blanket.
I kinda forgot about updating the Chobits episode yesterday, but now my host is acting all weird and an older version of the index page has re-appeared and I can't log in. I'm in no mood to battle with websites right now so I'll figure something out when I'm better... or hopefully it'll fix itself!
Been feeling kinda lost lately. Can't do anything. Can't even be bothered watching anime! There you know something's wrong with me! So instead I watch TV. Not that there's ever anything all that interesting on. I can just stare at it blankly and hope it'll make me laugh. :S And like I said I feel worse as the days on. Last night, I was a mess! Least I was really sleepy so I didn't lie there for ages.
My voice is giving up to the throat. It was really amusing me earlier when I was trying to sing. Can not go high any more (not that I could go all that high in the first place, but now it's just plain rediculous) ;) And when I try and talk louder or get excited about something, nothing comes out. ::laughs:: I did watch 1 episode of something I found: Denshin Mamotte Shugogetten. Kinda weird, a little sappy. But I lost my voice completely when I thought I heard Okiayu Ryoutarou! He's so cool! K, Koinosuke, Shigure! All kakkoi! :D And it was him. I wasn't paying any attention to anything else except his voice for some time. well, until some hot guy with long hair appeared. Didn't even manage to get his name. ;) Admittedly that anime did cheer me up for a while, although I was confused over why there were strange creatures just flying around and no one cared. And why there were adorable little midget creatures. But ignoring all that, I quite liked it, for something that I don't need to think to watch anyway. ;)
::coughs, and holds head:: And I thought just having headaches was bad enough. I know I couldn't do much before, but now I can't even bare to go outside, certainly not to drag the mutt round the woods. And I'm not touching a single bit of work. And now I don't have anything to do! I need a new game. A good game. I was pouting while watching SFG (Sci-Fi Gamers, I think it stands for). Showed a really neat freaky game... The Haunting: Project Zero, or something like that. I was drooling. It looks so scarily good. I want it so much! But games cost so much and I'm too stingy to buy any. Plus I won't have much time to play games once I'm better again, and there is no way I could make it into town like this.
What really pisses me of is that in all animes I've seen, the Japanese seem to make a big deal out of colds. The last one I saw, they got carried off in a stretcher! But here they just tell you to deal with it and get on with it... Certainly my parents seemed to say that. Unless I was completely floored, I went to school no matter how I felt. ::remembers:: One time my mum even gave me an opertunity to stay home. She asked me something. But I wasn't expecting her to say that, I was expecting something else. So I automatically responded and had to go to school anyway before I even realised what had just happened. That was evil! :S
I'm out of stuff to ramble on, so I'm off. Don't know what I'll do. Probably watch more TV, if I can get my mum to move through to the other room so I can watch the digital channels. ::coughs:: Pleh! Aacchhh! The phlegm! ...that is the right word, right? Ah I dunno! ::attacks her throat again with her nails (aka 'claws'):: So itchy, but it's on the inside! I'm just ending up with a big red stripe down my neck. :'( Me go me go. You don't want to hear the details anyway. :P
Xilmin visited the elves at 05:56 p.m.
