::after several minutes of silent hysterics, followed by very loud hysterics, finally manages to calm herself enough to type:: I have... heh heh heh... a new drama to listen to. I knew it was going to be amusing and weird. I should have guessed from that perhaps that maybe it might feature Okiayu Ryoutarou but... I didn't want to expect much so I just anticipated unknown seiyuu to play all the characters. I was wrong. I'm so happy to have been wrong. Hell, the entire story is wrong! The spirits of guys possessing other guys' "chinko"s ::is afraid of putting the english in incase it attracts the attention of admin staff XD :: There is no other manga quite an insanely perverse as that manga. Well, it's not so much perverse as just simply wrong, but that's why I like it so much. I've not been in the mood for yaoi or anything in a while, but this is just too good to ignore! I'm calm again. I think I can deal with a little bit more now... Damn it! Why won't the download thing work? I hadn't got all the tracks yet! Maybe I should just stop for a bit and go have dinner. That is an idea. It is after seven. Ah the wonder of microwaveable food!
Xilmin visited the elves at 07:10 p.m.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Tonight was so much fun! I talked to many people. I even remember half of their names! The movie was good. Gorey and humourous at the same time. Excellent! I got to see an entire episode of Spaced. Then since I didn't want to just wander home and spoil the night, I joined them in the Queen Margaret Union. I'm so glad I did. We talked about owning giant robots, windscreens on spaceships, and using kittens on catapults. All in all, a great night. I'm so disappointed I can't join them for going to see Howl's Moving Castle this Friday all because I'm heading home to look after the dog. ::sigh:: But I'll hang out with them again next Wednesday when they're doing a quiz night. Again, it's not something I'd normally willingly take part in, but hell, I am making sure I'm having fun while I'm here, even if I have to torture myself to do it! But even the coming home late wasn't much of an issue. Admittedly I was paranoid, and at one point thought I heard footsteps behind me, but was too afraid of turning around. It was my imagination anyway. It was rather damp out there anyway so I doubt anyone would be willing to hang around waiting for any potential victims. Nonetheless, I tried to make myself appear as unattractive and poor as possible. I think I do quite a good job of both even without trying. But trying to get the mentality of it was very difficult. Slumping shoulders when nervous is difficult. Staring at the ground while trying to be aware of everything around you is even harder. But my unkept hair probably made up for all of that. My hair shall never be tamed! XD Next wednesday I think I'll stay a little longer. The Hillhead station stays running longer than the Govan one (well, obviously in terms of outgoing trains) so I can keep going until, I think it was, 11.45. Ok, a bit earlier than that just to be sure I don't miss it. I'll have to fork out money for a taxi otherwise. :S
Well this fun night sure put any depression I had completely out of my mind. What does it matter if I have money problems or can't deal with the work as long as I'm enjoying myself? Life is there to have fun, because if you can't laugh, you ain't living! :P Anyway, I'd better start thinking about going to bed. Ja!
Xilmin visited the elves at 12:10 a.m.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Last night I had a bout of depression. It suddenly seemed like there was so much to worry about. I was just feeling so out of my depth being here. Doesn't help that my parents aren't giving me any money. Yeah, they are paying the mortgage for the flat and insurance as well I think, but still I'm going to be surviving on my own savings until my parents can sort out their own money problems (and there are a lot). I got a big description about the whole thing from my dad when I asked about how to be part of the mountaineering club and have a job (I think it's impossible, so if things get tough, I'll have to give the club up [that is if I do join it. I've yet to meet the people so I might not depending...]). It's basically my mum that is bringing in the cash and she'll likely retire next year and there is very little in the way of pensions for them to live off, never mind provide me with something. And my dad can't find work with his current services so he's having to learn a new programming language, among other things in the hope to get new business.
My other main worry is that I don't have the brain power to deal with the university way of teaching. School work was easy because it meant I barely had to think most of the time, the lessons being barely involving. Considering I spent a large amount of time doodling in college rather than learning sums it up really, as well as the fact I was deliberately late on a number of occasions because the computers were more interesting (thinking on that, I was probably not a good influence on Queak XD ). But this is going to have me stressed out so much if it's anything like it's made out to be. And I keep having the nagging feeling I've become stupider since M.E. Certainly my memory has got much worse anyway. It doesn't help my confidence that I can't for the life of my do mental arithmetic, even when I'm supposed to be a maths genius (going by my grades).
Admittedly today though I'm feeling better about myself. I've got the hassle of changing the bills over to my account over (except the TV, which my brother didn't give me any information about) which is a relief, even although it's going to be cutting into my bank account very quickly. But what also boosted my confidence was today I finally talked to people! Maybe not people I'll ever get to know very well, but the fact is I did and it made me feel so much better anyway. So I don't feel quite so lost and alone now. I'm a contradiction as ever. I'm a loner but I don't necessarily like being alone.
Well, tonight I'll hopefully meet and talk to more people. Even people I might get on very well with. It's the Science Fiction and Fantasy Society meeting (called IO for some reason I don't know). They're showing Shaun of the Dead which I've been intrigued about watching for a while, but never had a chance. Should be a fun night anyway. ::crosses fingers::
Oh yeah, I didn't blog yesterday. Well, I went into the Union to find the Gaming Society but it didn't seem like it was on. Although according to their forum it was on. Huh... Must have been round one of the corners or I'd gone temporarily blind while I looked into the Food Factory where it was supposed to be held. ::shrug:: Oh well, next week I'll wander along before I go to the Mountaineering Club's cheese and wine night. I don't really want either but if I want to join, I have no choice. ::sweatdrop:: Hell, I can eat cheese all night. I'll be regretting it but oh well. ;)
On to my dinner. How can I go so wrong with such simple meals? Last night I had mashed potato and a fried egg. It was so unbelievably awful! Tonight though, I'm being adventurous and having some stir-fry with pasta. It should be easy and simple. Hopefully. I can't go wrong with the pasta at least... well, maybe not... Ah, I'm hungry just thinking about it. I need to meet at the Uni at 7 so maybe I should think about starting cooking soon. I've no idea how long it's going to take and I don't want to be late for this.
Oh yeah, technically I shouldn't have needed to go into Uni tomorrow but apparently they messed up with the Environmental Science enrolment time. They didn't even bother to mention it on the website that said would have alterations on it (which I especially checked for such things). ::sigh:: So I've got that to go in for. But the rest of the enrolment today went well... apart from having to fork out £20 for Earth Science to cover the workbook... ok, and the field trips which I didn't know existed and I'm looking forward to. Hell, I just got excited being in the lab for enrolment and seeing rocks in drawers around the room. ::sweatdrop::
Oh yeah, and I've got the Doctor to go to tomorrow to sign up for the practice. Must remember to check with my mum about my old doctor's address so I can tell them where to get my records...
Oh, one last thing! I know what the yodelling song is! It's by Focus, called Hocus Pocus. It's so brilliant. I'm so happy I have my digital radio now, just because I got to find the song again! It's so nifty. Need to start making CDs full of mp3s soon so I got plenty to listen to. Normal music CDs just don't hold enough music to make them worthwhile. :P
Ok, now I'm really hungry. Time for dinner. Guh, I hate having to spend time cooking things. This better not take long!
Xilmin visited the elves at 05:11 p.m.
Monday, September 19, 2005
Woah! The view out of this window is unbelievable. An almost full moon shining through thin clouds, colouring them as if they were burnt. And below the city shining like a million multi-coloured stars, with a shimmering reflection in the river. And just in front of me is the science tower thing, flashing red lights, with the science centre, IMAX cinema and armadillo all lit up in a haunting blue light. I'm so glad I can claim this room as my own now my brother has finally left for Glasgow. Joyous! I've still got stuff to move through and I've made the worrying discovery that there is no chest of drawers in here and I don't have enough hangers. I'll just have to squeeze stuff into the drawers in the bedside cabinet, I suppose. :S It's unbelievable how much floor space there is. I'm totally not used to big rooms. And sleeping in this bed is going to be strange. Least it will be warmer. I may dream about drowning, but if I'm warm then I can live with it and I ain't giving up the double bed. Last night I had to go steal the duvet cover off the bed in the third room, and that was after pulling on several layers of clothing again. ::sigh:: But I shall not turn on the heating. Ever! That requires money. Ok, when there is a frost on the ground, I may start to reconsider. But right now it's an ok temperature. My mum was here and insisted on turning on the electric fire so I think there is still some residual heat from that. Plus the carrying things from the other room probably warmed me up.
I was at the Uni today matriculating. I now have a student card and can officially get student discounts. Joy. I couldn't believe how easy it was. Obviously they are very organised about the whole thing. Talk to one person, and get directed to the right room, another checks for correct letters, next clicks for a minute on the computer and stamps one letter, next clicks at another computer and asks me to write down my student number, and then through to another room to get my photo taken and two minutes later I have my ID card and am free to go. It was quite disorientating. I was hunting my brain for something I missed because it seemed like it was all too easy and I was looking for something I should be worried about. Not that there was anything. Heh. Oh well. Tomorrow is induction which from what I gather is just a lot of talks about what Uni is like and what to expect. ::checks to see where she has to go and panics a bit when she can't find the building in the key for the map:: Sheesh! After a quick google search, I now it's the Chemistry Building but they could have at least had 'Joseph Black Building' under the alphabatical order if they are going to refer to it as such. Making me worry! :S
I'm currently trying to record my Sky tapes into mp3s. Admittedly the quality is terrible but still, I no longer have a tape deck and I don't particularly want to use my personal tape player all the time for tapes. The problem is these tapes are really old and not exactly working as well as I would have liked. The second side of the first tape is unrecordable. ::attacks the spongy bit the tape runs over with her fingernail:: Ha! What'd ya know! It worked! It even sounds better quality that the first side now! Tapes rule! XD
Oh yeah, tomorrow evening, I'm going to investigate the Gaming Society (I'm not even completely sure it's on but I might as well go see anyway). It will be the first time I'll be out of the flat in the evening. I can't deny I am somewhat nervous. This is Govan afterall, and the subway isn't exactly a nice thing to journey in either. I know it should be ok, but considering I've already been attacked and I seem incapable of raising my voice even in such a situation, I can't really feel very reassured. ::sigh:: Ah, if someone dares, I can just hammer on a window instead. I think I'd be capable of doing that. Oh but I'd feel so much better if I could carry my sword about with me. Even if not that, a tazer would be nice. My mum is even more worried though. She insisted as she left today that I text her tomorrow night when I get home to say I'm safe. And she plans to ask that of me every time I go out. Hell, I'm not going to tell her every time! I want my own life, damn it! :S
Tomorrow I'd better start phoning the electricity, internet and phone people to start changing over the bank account for bills. My brother said I could probably get cheaper internet and phone together somewhere, but I looked quickly on the net and I wouldn't say that's likely. The best I could find had about a pound difference. Plus Demon and BT are reputable companies so they are bound to be more reliable.
Anything else to say? Oh yeah. My weekend back home. Well, it was weird to be back there. Almost as weird as it feels to be here just now. It didn't feel like my room with all the important stuff not there. It's even more empty now though. I did a massive clearout and emptied it of about 2 bin-bags worth of stuff. There is no longer any discriminating evidence of alternate selves for my mother in her cleaning frenzy to find. Well, apart from one diary that I didn't really want to bring up but it is hidden in a place I doubt she'll bother with. There was so much to reminisce about. I've kept all the toy animals I came across, stuffed and modelled ones. I was so happy to find the many dinosaur and monster models I played with. But I never did see the My Little Ponys I had. Guess they must have been thrown out already. ::laughs:: Monsters were so much cooler than My Little Ponys anyway! Even if one of the ponies had multicoloured hair that could extend if you pulled it, and then you could wind it up by turning the head around. Like Saku said, that is the sort of one I would own. Almost a pity it's gone. XD
Well, I'm going to leave the rest of the recording to another time. Right now, I want supper and some relaxation before heading off to sleep. Ja!
Xilmin visited the elves at 11:37 p.m.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
This is one very important 'note to self': Never use four-cheese sauce on pasta ever again! Hell, just don't use sauce and eat it plain. It would have tasted a hell of a lot nicer! It didn't taste bad at first but then half way through I was beginning to regret using the entire jar. And when I pressed myself to continue eating as I hate seeing wasted food, I nearly threw up. Never again! I tried to wash the stuff off the pasta but the taste was not to be removed. Least I managed to save the carrot and my boiled egg. ::sigh:: Throwing food in the bin always depresses me. I should have just gone with my idea of cutting up the boiled eggs and mixing them with the plain pasta. That's a decent enough meal for me. Well I got several ready-to-cook meals on my little shopping excursion, so I don't have to try and make anything for a while.
But then my mum is coming round tomorrow, and I'll get a lift with her back to clear out my room and check out my hi-fi that arrived today. Joyous! But, you know, I do hope my mum isn't going to insist on phoning me every day as she has been doing so far. I just can't get away, it seems. Isn't it usually students that are phoning home every day and pissing of their parents. Hmmm... Well, I just defy the norm. :P
And since it's getting gradually later, I should go to bed. Although I know I'll just end up reading that Gunparade March volume that I've got teasing me on this surprisingly cluttered desk of mine. Heh. Well, the sooner I start, the sooner I finish and can go to sleep. So I'm off. Itekimasu!
Xilmin visited the elves at 10:49 p.m.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
I came back from the University today somewhat more up-beat than the previous times. Mainly because I actually found the Freshers' Fayre. Joyous! And I found many potential clubs to join. There didn't seem to be an exclusively anime club, but there was the Science Fiction and Fantasy one which had manga on the display and the guy says they watch anime from time to time so it's pretty much a given I'll be checking that club out. There also didn't seem to be a mountaineering club, however there was this conservationalist club... ::hunts through the gumf that she got dumped with for info on that:: Yeah, conservation involves work, but it's a chance to get out and about. Then again, it's on a Wednesday which clashes with the science fiction and fantasy group, so maybe that's out of the question. Another club I'm very interested in the Gaming Society. It's a whole new way for me to be a geek. Oh how I want to play roleplaying! One other club that I'm not sure if I will join or not is the creative writing one. But the three girls at the stand were going on about how it's tied in with the Literature group, so I don't know if my stories would really fit in, given they're mostly science fiction or fantasy or just simply unlikely. Still, I signed up for their mailing list, so I'll see what it sounds like from the email. One other thing that I signed up for, but it isn't a club is for Subway. I know have for £5.99 a month, I get unlimited subs from any store in Scotland. That's my lunchs covered anyway. ::grin::
After that... ::hangs head:: I went and spent money. Got 3 posters for my bedroom (when it is my bedroom and my brother has finally left). I'm not used to having much wall space, but I want something to fill it up. So I got a cool photo poster of the moon taken above the clouds, another one that has the elements written in kanji (it's a Feng Shui poster) and the final one is... uh... what is it again? Ah yes, the best one. Its one of those images that destort normal perspective. ::grin:: Any relaxation my brain gets from the moon scene or the Feng Shui one, it will be wiped out by trying to get itself to figure out how the third poster works. XD
And after that, I got my first sub, read a little of a free book I got from the science fiction & fantasy stand, and then got the subway to Buchanan Street and spent money in Forbidden Planet (because I am so very weak!). So I now have more Gunparade March and Genshiken. I spent a little time enjoying the street entertainment until the guy playing the bagpipes sounded like he was very close to finally killing the cat and headed back here.
Now I need to go buy milk and some veggies and potatoes since my brother doesn't seem to believe in veggies and hasn't made any move to replace the milk he finished. ::sigh:: I am totally going to need a job this year at this rate... No, once Saku's here and starts paying up rent, things should be a bit better. Hopefully...
Anyway, since I'm against being out in the streets past 6, especially since this is Govan, I'd better get on with the shopping before I get carried away with reading my new manga! Ja!
Xilmin visited the elves at 04:14 p.m.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
I'm currently trying to decide if it's worth going back to the University to look for the Freshers' Fayre again, or if I'll just leave it 'til tomorrow. This morning I decided to get a single subway ticket and walk back, but since the time I spent there wasn't exactly productive (I came across a couple of sports clubs and a poster thing, but that was it) I gave up and walked back for lunch. Now I'm against buying a second ticket, which means I either walk there and back or cycle. The walking is dull (not to mention infuriating since to go to the bridge, you have to go further away from the university, and you can't even go to the bridge in a straight line. Damn river and ship docks!) and it's windy out there so cycling isn't exactly pleasant. However the weather forecast for tomorrow seems to be showers, like it was earlier. Then again, I can always get the subway tomorrow and I'll only be exposed to the weather in my hunt for the Freshers' Fayre, which according to my brother should be in the main building somewhere, but I saw no hints as to where exactly. Then again, I don't really have anything better to do today... However it just started spitting outside, so I'm in no rush to move. Buh, I think perhaps Freshers' Week is only worthwhile for those interested in partying and are willing to pay the money for the pass. I just want to find out what clubs there are that I could join. I know I'm not a very sociable person, but I still like to have people talk to me (just so long as they don't expect much conversation in return). But it seems I turn invisible as I wander the Uni. Even those people giving out flyers ignore me. It does nothing for my self-esteem and confidence, so naturally puts me off going back. Nah, I'm not in the mood to deal with people. I'll go tomorrow. That will be the last day I shall go until the Orientation stuff next week. I'm heading home to sort out my room properly this weekend so I can feel safe even if my mum goes on a cleaning frenzy while I'm not there. And after that, my brother shall leave, and so my spirits shall rise. Heh heh. ::thinks:: Hmmm... maybe I should go earlier to the Fayre. Maybe the stands packed up for lunch before I got there. It was nearly twelve by the time I arrived. Alright, I'll get up earlier and try and get there at least before eleven.
Ok, decision made. Now I just need to decide what to do for the rest of the day. Yesterday after I got back, I watched Basilisk, Speed Grapher then Zettai Shounen. But I want to do something a bit more interesting today. Maybe I'll try writing something... well, we'll see...
Xilmin visited the elves at 02:46 p.m.
Basics
Name: Xilmin Nerrar (might as well be when I'm on the net ;) ) Nick: Xi (I have more, plenty more!) Gender: Female Age: 19 Birthday: 1st Nov (gimme a pressie! :P ) Sign: Scorpio Home: Scotland E-mail:xilmin@coolgoose.co.uk
Favs
Food: Ketchup (or anything with ketchup! [I mean anything]) Drink: Irn Bru! Colour: Red, Blue, Yellow, White, Black, Green (depending on my mood) Time: Morning Season: Summer Activity: Computers, anime, drawing, writing, reading, dreaming and thinking Music: Anime/J-pop, Rock, Metal, Classical (anything but boy-bands and opera!) Author: Terry Pratchet Movie: Lord of the Rings, Matrix, Star Wars (there's loads more) TV show: Red Dwarf Anime: Jungle wa Itsumo Hale Nochi Guu, Jubei-chan, Full Metal Alchemist, Planetes, Bleach, Honey & Clover, My Hime, Azumanga Daioh, Kyou Kara Maou, Samurai 7, Konjiki no Gash Bell, Melody of Oblivion, Fruits Basket, Excel Saga, Hoshi no Koe, Figure 17, Samurai Champloo, Chrno Crusade, Read or Die, Full Metal Panic, Stellvia of the Universe, Shadow Skill, Macross Zero, Hyper Police, Matantei Loki Ragnarok(There are very few anime I don't like ;) ) Manga: Houshin Engi, Parfait Tic, Demon Diary, Koi wa Itsumo Arashi Youni, Koori no Mamono no Monogatari, Love Mode, Menkui, Sakende Yaruze, Soshite Haru no Tsuki, Eternal Sabbath, Tokko, Shin Angyo Onshi, Paradistar, My Name is Zushio, Apocripha, Midare Somenishi, Chrno Crusade Seiyuu: Okiayu Ryoutarou, Koyasu Takehito, Ishida Akira, Hoshi Souichirou, Hayami Sho, Miki Shinichirou, Matsumoto Yasunori, Morikawa Toshiyuki, Paku Romi, Sakurai Takahiro, Seki Tomokazu, Miyamoto Mitsuru, Inoue Kazuhiko, Morikubo Shoutarou, Midorikawa Hikaru, Yamaguchi Kappei, Seki Toshihiko
