Monday, June 2, 2003
I went through with my plan of getting up an hour earlier. Unfortunately this means there is nothing on TV while I have breakfast. ::sniff:: Although today I just watched the episodes of Animatrix that I'd recorded. I'd seen The Second Renasonce (can't spell, don't care!) when I downloaded it from the proper site. I like it, gives plenty of history to the story, although I do sometimes find it difficult to follow. But that'll just be my poor concentration and when I'm thinking about stuff like the Matrix, is it any wonder I get lost. ;) I also got to see Kid's Story. I'm assuming this is that kid that chases after Neo in the Reloaded movie. He kinda makes sense now. ;) But the animation style for that was so freaky! When he was riding around on his skateboard, he looked like he was 'dissolving' or something. In fact, when he was being chased, everyone kinda had that look. It was freaky! Don't like that sort of animation style at all! It reminds me of nightmares I used to have. :S
I spent the rest of the morning & early afternoon reading/listening to a new webcomic that the link for was posted in the Anime Shelter forum. I liked! :) There were audio commentaries to listen to, which were cool. Fun and interesting at the same time. ;) Going to have to keep my eye open for the developments of that one. :) Having said that, I should pay more attention to the other webcomics I like. Haven't read any for a while, and usually I just check Megatokyo and never get around to the others. Uh oh... I dread to think how many Real Life comics there will be since that usually updated daily! EEEP! ...ah well, if I'm really bored and my mind ain't working like it should, that'll keep me occupied. ;)
After that, I tried to get in contact with my guidance teacher at school. But the ppl in the office first said that they didn't know where he was cos it was lunch so I was to phone back later, then when I did they said they couldn't disturb him cos he was in a class. The phone always rang when I was in class and a teacher could take it without any problems. They asked if I wanted him to phone back, and I said yes, but he never did. My guess is the offic never got the message to him. Not really all that surprising.
So in the end, I was hanging about waiting for a phone call that never came. Then my dad phoned instead and made me hang about even more. You see, the thing is, our water supply really really stinks right now! Well, for the hot water anyway. It's terrible trying to wash my face in the morning and having a horrible stench splashed up with the hot water. :S My dad before he left for the week, tried emptying the water tank in the loft as much as possible, and discovered 3 dead birds and a whole load of maggets. :S Certainly explains the smell! And it won't go away! Although it has got better after what my dad suggested on the phone today. I had to hang about to make sure the house wasn't flooding while I left the taps running for over an hour. Everyone else is so lucky they didn't have to suffer the stench! I had to keep going back to check the plug wasn't clogged or the water overflowing. EEEEWWWWW!!! Icky icky icky! It got better after a while, but still... :S
I did eventually get out today though. Desperately tried to get out before my mum got back, cos she'd kill me if I had been inside all day. So cycled about, trying to avoid the hardest route, while avoiding big crowds at the same time. Went a similar route I took to the one I did on Saturday, just backwards and without the first bit. Only stopped once, at the stream. Really nice there, but it didn't look as good so late in the day. Still managed to get home before my mum did since she ended up staying late to do more work anyway. So I just collapsed on the grass next to the dog, waiting for her to come home and cook me dinner. Not a wise thing for me to attempt it myself. ;)
I have updated the Anime Shelter webpage today! Finally! Still haven't made the post in the XSiteClub forum for the chobits ep like I usually do though... ah, I'll do that tomorrow. It can wait. :P
Might as well go. Sleepiness is starting to catch up on me again. Although I do have big plans tomorrow. Get up for 9, eat, shower, etc. Then I'm going out for a cycle! I'm not even going to turn on the computer before I leave, cos I know I'll get caught up in stuff. I shall get out there! If I do a shorter cycle ride in the morning, and a longer one in the afternoon, then keep managing to do that for a few days, I'll have built up just a bit more. Afterall, that's the only way I'm going to beat this M.E. thing. I shall fight on! I shall never surrender... only I'm really sleepy right now, and I want my bed. Need some supper, can relax with some anime, and go die for the night. Yay! :D
Xilmin visited the elves at 09:23 p.m.
Sunday, June 1, 2003
::collapses at the desk:: Saku came round, and we (eventually) went for a long cycle ride... 'around'... as usual, she didn't really have any specific goal in mind. Now me tired! It was fun though. I fell down! ;) Got a scrape (can I spell?) on one knee, and the other leg has a big oily pattern from the chain. Really should wash that off before I go to bed... :S Of course, I am the only one injured when I'm the one causing the accident. She had a wall to crash into! ::pout:: She was being her typical jukebox-like self, so that certainly distracts me from how tired I am. ;)
While I was waiting for Saku to come round, I ended up watching random eps of Fruits Basket. Such a good series! Ok, I was mainly on the search for Ayame episodes. So sue me! :P I really wanna go to his shop. I'm sure he could be the one that could make my Xilmin outfit, cos I really really really want that! Then when I ran out of Ayame to drool over, I just looked for Shigure moments. Hey, it's me, and I always amuse me. ;) Finally, I ended up getting caught up in the sudden development of a plot at the end. That always makes me cry! Even Shigure cries! That says it all really. :P But I demand more! The manga is supposed to go on beyond the series, but the group that is doing the translation is only at the equivalent of episode 16 out of 26. ::sniff:: And that's into it's 5th volume. ::sweatdrop:: Ok, the manga has some other neat stuff in it. Like the bit with the boy in the cap. And I believe Shigure was being evil and serious during a conversation with Hatori (see, me! :P ). Need more! Ok, I'm just desperate for Ayame, but he rules and I can't help it. ;)
Enough enough enough! ....... I wanna watch the entire series again! :'( No no no! I have something that will make everything just fine. ::squeaks:: I HAVE MORE DN ANGEL! Well, that'll do just fine.
Just a little note, I have put Chobits ep 12 up on the download site for Anime Shelter, I just haven't updated anywhere. I'll do it. I'll do it. Just later. :P Still to sort those freeloader Jubei-chan eps as well, not to mention the MP3s I've been uploading. I'll do that later too. Hmmm... not particularly promising, I know. But I never do give in to ideas, even if it takes me several years to do anything about it. ;) Saku was mentioning she was going with her brother to see the Matrix. She offered for me to come, so naturally I really need to go. Must go be overjoyed with the many Smiths ("The great thing about me is there are so many 'me's" EEEE! He uses the term 'me's! Yay! ;) ) not to mention those cool Twins. the ultimate in coolness, and they don't succumb to the uniform black that everyone else does. :P
::sings:: chan mali chan! chan mali chan! chan mali chan! ketipuu payong! chan mali chan! chan mali chan! chan mali chan! ketipuu payong! Probably not right, and I don't know what language it is, but hey, it's fun! :) ::starts another one::
how you lie!
chia cha lie!
gom shee gom shee bai tai zai!
kua lu lie!
shin quai hai!
shen wi shin long shao kai wai!
how you lie!
quen quen lie!
mou pai pai hon bai da kai!
wo da ai!
lang mi pai!
ge in wo quan chao shi lie!
Ok, that was just a whole load of noises that seemed to fit, but they're my lyrics so :P Alright alright alright! I'm leaving. After all, I do have DN Angel awaiting me! ;)
Xilmin visited the elves at 10:01 p.m.
Saturday, May 31, 2003
Yes, I am alive, but you may need to use a little imagination, and I would advise not to come to near me, as I have been unpredictable, not to mention tempermental, as of late. One of my 'me's keeps preaching about my beliefs. For someone who isn't religous, I still have extremely strong beliefs. What I term as 'psychological beliefs'. But I think it's best if I avoid what exactly it is that's bugging me, cos I don't want to start over again. Certainly last night was the worst. I couldn't sleep. My mind kept running round and round over the same stuff, then Akuma joined in, adding a rather anti-social side to it all. :S Finally decided to listen to some radio and that calmed the mind a bit. The night Classic FM sounded more like run-down techno to me, but I still liked it. Maybe more rhythm than melody, but least it stopped my mind thinking for a bit to get some sleep.
Even after that awful night's sleep, I still demanded I get up for 10. I'm even contemplating setting the alarm an hour earlier just so I have more time in the day to do stuff, instead of having to fit everything I want to do outside into the afternoon. But I think I'll try and give myself some time to catch up on missed sleep tonight, so I won't do it immediately. But I want to get out more. Especially when the weather is as nice as it is now.
As to where I've been the past two days: Thursday... good question. I can't remember. I've got a feeling though that that was because of the 'me's. The 'preaching' 'me' was rambling on, plus Akuma hanging about (certainly I know I was brandishing my stick threateningly as I walked the dog). And whenever they took a break, I was left with Aoiko and Nimaia being sappy and pathetic. Stuff is coming back to me now. I wasn't like that all day. I went to the beach again, but some others had taken my spot, so that was a disappointment. Nearly fell asleep when I was lying there. Then I started watching an ant-eater-like ladybird thingy. Not the most exciting thing, but hey, it was outside.
Friday, I can't remember what I did in the afternoon... unless that was when I went to the beach... oh I'm all confused now... Ah, I got it! I went to PC World and got another spindle of 100 CDs. That last lot lasted me about 3-4 months, so that's pretty good. :) I got caught by my dad though. He was showing me his program and all the many stuff he can do with it. He also showed me how easy it could be to ruin the business he wrote the program for. But since that's the only reason my dad's business hasn't gone bankrupt yet, that's probably not the best idea. :S
But the evening was great! My mum wanted to go see my brother, and since the only thing that he was willing to leave his studies for was the Matrix movie, the entire family went up to Glasgow to see it. ::big grin (or at least it would be if I was in a good enough mood):: It's fantastic. Toying with perceptions of reality and control. :) Not to mention fantastic action scenes. ;)
Back to today, I went another cycle ride. This time, instead of going to the beach, seeing as it's the weekend and the weather is so warm, I avoided the crowds and went a completely different route. Didn't quite know where I was for some of the ride, but I knew the way home so I didn't get lost (even although I wanted to). Sat by a burn, watching the water and toying with a stick, making ripples, until I got too cold (I can become content that simply. If only I could still hear traffic, and it would have been perfect :) ). Cycled onwards and collapses on a bench and listened to some music. Probably would have gone to sleep there if it hadn't been so uncomfortable to stretch out on. I've decided those are better places to go when the weather is good. Not too many ppl and it's incredibly relaxing.
I've been abandoning everything else while I've been doing this stuff, including the webpage. Just realised today I was supposed to put the next episode of Chobits up. But there is no way I could have uploaded it in time. So everyone's just going to have to wait. I did encode Jubei-chan, and it's been uploaded, but the actual adding it to the list and whatever is not been done yet. Again, everyone can wait.
Might as well leave, just wanted to leave a note so that everyone knows what I've been doing (even although I doubt anyone really cares either way :P ). Heh, I'm sure it's kinda good for me though. Can sort some figure how little of a life I actually have. ;) Still, it's nice to be able to look back and see where all my time goes, even if it isn't worth a thing.
Anyway, I just hope the mind will relax tonight, and not start depressing me again. I want sleep, damn it!
Xilmin visited the elves at 09:36 p.m.
Wednesday, May 28, 2003
I think I'm moving away from listening to j-pop. Been on the search for chinese songs. I downloaded this one song by Stefanie Sun Yan Zi (chinese names are so cool!) and after hearing it a couple of times, I'm addicted to it. I'm starting to get addicted to another one by China Dolls. So upbeat and catchy and I haven't a clue what they are about! ;) For some reason I prefer songs that aren't in english usually. Probably cos I don't need to think about the meaning behind the lyrics... or I'm enjoying singing along gibberish. ;) Need more but haven't a clue where I should look... :S ::types 'chinese' in DC for a search and starts downloading a ton of random MP3s:: That should keep me going for a while... If I'm even downloading the right stuff. :S
Was at the Occupational Therapist again today. Talking about the usual stuff, what I want to do, what I can do and what I plan to do. But there wasn't much new stuff to talk about, so wasn't there to long. Mostly talking about applying for college. I'm going to need to find out some stuff, like if I'm supposed to fill out some form at school to say I'm leaving... I filled in an application form today, and my mum's taking it in with her to work, so least things are moving forward now. Only going to be going for part-time since I'm only doing the 2 subjects, so least that gives me more time to recover from brain overload that I'm likely to be getting from going to proper classes again.
Went and sat on the beach afterwards, and out of pure habit, started digging a hole. I ended up digging up some sand-hopper thingys. Pick one up, ask 'are you dead?' and it hops at my face. Geez! That gave me a shock! :S Then the others I was finding were leaking little pink babies. For tiny pink things, they can still hop really well! ;) I was particularly annoying one mother. Put her down, watched her dig for a while until she disappeared, then dug her up again. That was just evil of me. :P I was intrigued. They are strange creatures. Can't even tell which end is which unless you look really closely, and that isn't exactly safe unless you want a sand-hopper in your eye! ;)
I also got leapt on by the same hyper dog that I met when I was with Saku on Monday. She must really like the smell of my dog or something, cos she goes crazy meeting me. :S
This can not be good... compy's acting very strange. ::pout:: And I had more to say. Just one thing I think I can fit in...
My mum made me go with her on a walk with the dog and kept trying to come up with ideas for me to be put in a social area. She wanted me to do night classes, but unless it was an art class, that would require concentration that I need for other stuff. And if it were art, I wouldn't enjoy it, cos I think I do my best art when I'm alone. She also came up with the idea of joining this group where it's all ppl who have M.E. Talk about depressing! I don't want to spend my time having conversations about how crap we feel. Where's the fun in that? So that was a definite 'no'! She then started having difficulty coming up with ideas (what a surprise! ;) ). She did try and suggest horse-riding, but my memories of that are of falling off every week. And that's just no fun when I'm alone. I'm strange like that! ;) So the overall conclusion was: leave me alone and I'll go outside by myself. What more can she ask for?
::sniff:: I got banned from my fav hub just for having 0 byte files. Didn't even realise I had any... Didn't even realise that was bad... :S It was just so ppl can request if they want stuff and I know where all my episodes are and what format they are without searching a zillion CDs. It's all in one text file now. That'll be interesting to update. :S Hope it's a temperary ban, or I'll have to join one of the network hubs and beg the op to let me back in. Need that hub. It's the best! ::cries::
Better go before compy keels in on itself and I lose this entry, since it's done that before! :S Yikes! I'm late anyway! Mata ne!
Xilmin visited the elves at 10:56 p.m.
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
Was round at Saku's yesterday and we went for a long long long walk. Certainly a much longer walk than I'm used to. My legs are so tired! I knew I should have stopped at some point and let her go ahead, but... well, ... miff... I never do the sensible thing. :S But still it was fun. Saku was rambling for... however long we were out there. I like listening to rambles. Makes a refreshing change from my own jibbering. ;)
Since I'm tired today, it was sort of a rest day. Although I did do a reasonably long walk with the dog. Took him a slight detour round to the shops to get some essentials. Naturally, being the pathetic lazy coward that he is, he was not happy, but he's so amusing to watch when a bus drives by. He tried to back into a wall! ;)
I also did some work on the webpage today (and yesterday, before I went to Saku's). Finally moved over the video files that I'd uploaded into the inbox ages and ages ago before the change to Version 2. Thankfully, Streamload was being a bit more agreeable today. However that wasn't what made my head explode today...
I was mucking around with DC and sorting through the MP3s I'd been downloading, when all of a sudden this Java Chat Applet window popped up and someone said 'hi'. I checked and checked and I can not find any chat program running on my computer other than DC and DC actually has the chat inside the program. So at a loss, I say 'hi' back. I was still trying to find the program this was, so I did ctrl-alt-del and got the window-thingy up with the programs that are running. But that didn't help since it just called is a Java Chat Applet and didn't show anything unusual. Then... it got weird... The person, whoever it was, asked 'how r u?' or something and I try and respond... and it would let me type! So I couldn't do the dumb thing and ask 'what is this? who are you? what is going?'. So I just closed it since that seemed the only thing I could do. So I try and move on to working on the webpage, and I get message after message: 'running out of system resources'. So I try and close a few things. Try and keep working and I get 'no system resources'. I always have the same programs open every day and I only get a problem if I try and edit more than 5-or-so HTML files at a time. So I've been mucking around with the system tools and found something that tells how much system resources are left. Right now, it's showing yellow. Least it's not red any more. But I really wanna know where that chat thing came from!!! Cos I shall blame it for breaking compy! I don't dare open Winamp again either since that'll probably be the final straw. I don't even know if I should dare try and watch anime when I've got a good connection in DC. :S ::cries::
Akuma, evil 'me', has been hanging about again. I punched another cupboard. And this time I don't think there were many 'me's holding back, cos it seriously hurt this time! :S I can't even remember why I got pissy... there were kids hanging about in our garden at the pond again, and the dog was barking non-stop, but I don't think it was only that... damn it! Can't remember. Oh well, I'll just put it down to Akuma being bored then... She really does scare me! Why must I have many 'me's? I only like about 5 of them! Most others are bareable, but she is so... ::groans:: No words. Least no one has actually met that part of me. Lucky them! As long as she crops up when I'm alone then everything's fine and I won't actually murder anyone. :S
Oh oh oh! Got another episode of DN Angel! (Yay! A fun subject!) Dark is so-oo-ooooo muh-rah-hah-how! ::drools:: ... what? He is! :P He was flirting with yet another girl. It was hilarious, particularly Niwa's reaction afterwards. Ha ha ha! I've been thinking that Dark, with his mannerisms and reactions, really does remind me of Akahoshi Ryusuke, one of the male 'me's. But since Dark isn't actually 'me', I can drool without it being weird! WOOHOO! ;) And drool I shall! Damn those dreams where I am Ryu-kun though, he's so... he always... umm... well, certainly I can say that he never misses an oppertunity. ;)
::figits:: Alright, that is it! I need to go watch my fav scene from that episode for the 5th time today. I can't help it! I'm weak! ::scrambles off as quickly as possible, praying that compy won't collapse under the demand of running a video::
Xilmin visited the elves at 09:56 p.m.
Sunday, May 25, 2003
::head explodes and echoes of angry yelling rebound around the site:: Streamload... is... driving... me... CRAZY! ::takes a deep breath and beats Streamload with her stick:: It eats my files, takes forever to move from page to page and keeps forgetting what it's supposed to be doing! GYAH! Been fighting it most of the day. Least I am getting 'somewhere' with it. It could admittedly be worse (like it was yesterday, but that was definitely cos of my own bandwidth). Barely got anything else going right now, 2 BitTorrents, 1 upload in DC & the Streamload Uploader is working away too, dumping tons of MP3s into my inbox. That'll be fun sorting those. :S
I'm just typing here whenever I'm waiting for Streamload to do something, so if this becomes kinda incoherent, I can blame that! Since I've been doing that all day, there isn't much to blog about... well, maybe not...
Change of plans with Saku, going round tomorrow instead. Saku's dying right now it seems, and my parents seem unwilling to give me lifts these days. :S
Oh oh oh! I was going through some old email inboxes I'd been ignoring (I'm still ignoring my hotmail one. Don't wanna go there. It'll be full of porn, spam and loan company adverts! :S ) and I found some newsletters from ThinkGeek.com in the email address that my dad gave me via is company address (uses my real name so I only use it when they send stuff by post, etc). It was full of the coolest stuff! I was looking through the T-shirts they have. Most I'd seen before, but that doesn't mean I don't want them now. 'Will work for bandwidth! :)' Need that T-shirt, cos it's very very true. Someone offered an oppertunity for me to get access to a computer with a T3 connection, I would be drooling and groveling at their feet! ;)
But aside from the T-shirts, there were some other really cool gadgets. Like a watch with a USB port so you could take MP3s and documents with you. And a sweet looking sound system. Plus a LCD screen that has an additional smaller screen above, perfect for all the 'multi-tasking' I do! :) But the best thing I saw was this fantastic touch-keyboard. It responds to touching, pointing and gesturing. It even has a game mode! It looks so very confusing and would take some getting used to, but that's the best part, the challenge! I want! I want so much! So naturally I was drooling over the images of that for a while. ;)
Hmm... what else have I been doing? Oh yeah, I didn't mention this yesterday when I actually watched it, but I have to mention it! I found this 1st ep on AnimeSuki.com before it died. I hadn't a clue what it was, so I went to go read the info on AnimeNfo.com. Didn't sound overly interesting, but then I noticed the seiyuu. Okiayu Ryoutarou. The best best best seiyuu ever! (for me anyway! :P ) So naturally, I leapt at it. I don't know what to make of it really... Although nothing can really compare to the weirdness of Jungle wa Itsumo Hale Nochi Guu, this thing makes a damn good try. Konjiki no Gash Bell. ::shudders:: Gash scares me! Didn't help he spent the majority of the beginning of the 1st ep naked! Hyper naked boy with a doll-like face! And the animators did nothing to attempt to hide anything! :S Although the reaction of the main guy, that was hilarious! Strangely enough, I'm intrigued. The art is kinda different from the usual, but it's not exactly bad. If I see more, I'll probably try and get it. I like scarying myself with freakish things like that. :S But what really put a whole dampening on my enthusiasm is Okiayu Ryoutarou only seems to have a tiny part. He appeared for about a minute, and that just when the main guy was reading a letter. ::sniff:: But, he's there, and it isn't crap, so I'll be on the lookout. ;) Ok, AnimeSuki is now dead, and I'm completely lost as to what is being released now! :S Not good! Not good at all!
Not much else to say. I'm not going to get the Streamload stuff sorted enough to update even although I didn't do much today. I never do anticipate how much Streamload is going to hold me back! >( I have done most of it now admittedly. But I could do with going to bed earlier. I'm still waking up during the night, even if it isn't for long. No exam stress, no birds in the loft (they left, or got eaten. Can't say I'm disappointed), no other reason that should be disturbing me. Seems my mind is worked up over something else. ::sigh::
I want to watch both Naruto and Narue no Sekai, but I don't know if I can survive that long. The sooner I leave, the more likely I can manage, so sayonara!
Xilmin visited the elves at 09:11 p.m.
Saturday, May 24, 2003
I feel terrible! What I thought was just what I get for eating raisons that didn't taste right and had been hanging about my room for a over a month, turned into evil period pains! (Least I know the raisons are ok to finish ;) ) But right now, I don't want to face food. ::takes another glance at the bowl of fruit salad that was dumped next to her over 2 hours ago:: But I need food in my stomach before I take my pill, so I don't have a choice any more. It doesn't even taste appatising right now! :( And to make me feel even worse, there is a chocolate cake downstairs, but I can't eat that either! :'( It's my mum's birthday cake. I kept forgetting it was today. I was reminded a couple of days ago, thought I'd get her a card at least... then I forgot until late afternoon when I was too tired to go anywhere... then I forgot again until this evening with dinner. So much for the card! :S
Well, I'm just trying to stay alive right now. Was doing some webpage work, trying to distract myself from the ickiness. Didn't do everything I planned to, but when I discovered I was supposed to upload more Chobits today, I wasn't able to do the Streamload list sorting. Stupid bandwidth being awkward and Streamload not loading! ::grumbles:: Still to sort through the whole leaving little notes everywhere to show I updated, so I need to get on with that soon.
Since I've been feeling crappy all day, didn't get out much. My mum eventually dragged me a long walk in Culzean (or however I'm supposed to spell that) Country Park. Got an ice cream though (least I could still eat at that point! ;) ). Other than that though, I've done nothing but work on the webpage and watching anime. Saku was going to come round, but it's probably a good thing she didn't cos I'd just be grumbling and growling and hugging my stomach all day. :S
Anyway, I need to go update the main site and post in a forum and the mailing list... ::sigh:: I want my bed! :(
Xilmin visited the elves at 09:51 p.m.
